Dear Jill,
We’ve been together for as long as you were a stupid cross-eyed kitten. You smell. You’re fat. And I love you sa’much. When you sit on me, I don’t complain and take it in like a bruised and battered man. I even hold my pee in just so you can be comfy and warm on my lap.
When you ignore me, I’m fine with it. When you want food, I give you food.
And now that you’re old and extra vocal, I will try my best to keep you healthy, you motherfucker. Why? Because you’re the bestest kitty in the world to me.
Love,
Me
