Books & Literature, Rejected Projects
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At The Tender Age of Ripe

a Fluxus Manifesto to 29 yr. olds before turning 30

OPEN THE FRIDGE DOOR. If you hear the lull of a quiet day approach you, be prepared to reward yourself with sustenance. Do not revel in the majesty of nonchalance – not yet. Not today.

Ask yourself, “Where does the light go when the fridge is closed?” And pay no mind to those sweaty three-month old bag of baby carrots and the bottle of merlot half-empty / half-full, staring at you.

All three of the takeout boxes need to be put in the trash can. Take your time. Breathe in. Reach for your phone.

noun

  1. the state of containing nothing.
  2. the quality of lacking meaning or sincerity; meaninglessness.

CLOSE THE FRIDGE DOOR. Distract yourself with a text from your boss. Distract yourself with pictures on Instagram. Distract yourself with the feeling of fullness while seeing yourself at your friend’s friend, Steve, from that wedding you attended last month.

Remind yourself, “I am well and –” at the sight of your apartment and the mess your two roommates have left.

“I am hungry.”

noun

  1. a feeling of discomfort or weakness caused by lack of food, coupled with the desire to eat.

verb

  1. have a strong desire or craving for.
  2. archaic
  3. feel or suffer hunger through lack of food.

OPEN YOUR FOOD DELIVERY APP. Retell yourself, “I am hungry. I could eat three babies…” Relinquish all deviations your parents had set upon you, “with a side of salad.” You have not lapsed. Not yet. You are your own person – writhing with appetite – and the best you could do is face the world by enjoying a little comfort.

adjective

  1. unable to find one’s way; not knowing one’s whereabouts.
  2. denoting something that has been taken away or cannot be recovered.

ORDER THE CHEAPEST THING IN THE MENU. Because delivery fees are almost $10. Because you can’t order out every time – not anymore. Because you’re turning 30 and you’re beginning to look like one of your parents.

The student loans need to be paid. The communal coconut water shelf needs to be re-stocked. You’re saving up for a new van.

verb

  1. grasp, carry, or support with one’s arms or hands.
  2. keep or detain (someone).

noun

    1. an act or manner of grasping something; a grip.
    2. archaic

a fortress.

 

DON’T PRESS “CANCEL ORDER”. Tell yourself, “I deserve this,” because the caffeine in your system is drying you out. Because It’s late and the food is on its way.

We can have some more
Nature is a whore
Bruises on the fruit
Tender age in bloom

In Bloom, Nevermind – Nirvana

 

Notes: Rejected by McSweeney’s

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